shititsalion | Closed to loveandloyalty

Closed to loveandloyalty

[The battle actually hadn't lasted that long. Maybe 40 minutes at most. They had fought Stannis' army just outside their camp and at the end of it all, they had won. A good deal of Stannis' men lay dead on the field and the rest had retreated. Stannis himself hadn't been present but the defeat should be enough to discourage him for a while. Just a while. Loras had no doubt that he'd be back. Stannis had always been stubborn at the worst of times. Still, it had been a good battle and a good victory. Renly should be happy.

During the fight Loras had ended up face to face with a knight twice his age and twice his size. A big, strong man. He was proud to say that he had beheaded the man. Not before taking a nice deep slash to the bicep and a hard mace hit to the ribs but he had still killed the man. That was what was important. To him at least, his squire seemed to disagree. As they rode back to camp the boy was buzzing around him like a particularly obnoxious little bee, asking a million times if he was alright. To which Loras always answered "yes stop asking".

Back in his tent the boy helped him out of his armor, flying into a panic at the sight of the blood seeping through the arm of his cotton undershirt. Before he could stop him the boy scurried from the tent, returning with one of the camp medics. Soon everyone in camp would know he was injured now, thanks to his well intentioned squire. Margaery would be flying in soon and then probably Renly. It was silly. He felt just fine, though the more he settled the more he felt the pain in his side and the stinging of the gash on his arm.]

Really, I'm- [He began but hissed in pain instead as the healer peeled the shirt away from the wound on his arm. Okay, maybe letting someone look at his wasn't the worst idea. When the shirt came off, there was a large and colorful bruise already covering a good deal of his left side. Yes, that probably wasn't good]

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[Anyone can be hurt. Good knight or no, injuries are still to be expected. Really, it's the good ones who survive]

Yes, well, that is what being Lord Commander involves sometimes. I survived. It could have ended differently. [He isn't sure what else to say. He's also not sure he even wants to talk about it anymore] In happier news, we won. Stannis took what was left of his army and retreated.

Not bad. I do not need it. [He can manage the pain. Yes, he kind of feels like he got run over by a wagon and the dozen or so horses pulling it but milk of the poppy seems extreme. And weak. He isn't willing to admit he might need it]

[It doesn't mean he can stand the thought. He was just a boy the last time anyone was at war with each other, he still hasn't quite come to terms with what they're doing, what it will take to reach the goals they've set for themselves. Still, Loras doesn't need him fussing like a mother hen - no doubt Margaery will do enough of that later for the both of them, so he sighs resignedly, purposely ignoring the comment that 'it could have ended differently'. No, it couldn't have.] You fought well. Stannis doesn't stand a chance, at this rate.

[Any traces of a smile fade after a moment, green eyes taking on some other fleeting feeling. A tinge of sadness, maybe.] He will fight until the bitter end, though. My brother has never been good at giving up the things he believes are his. His stubbornness is maybe the only reason I'm alive now, and yet it will be the death of him.

[But then his expression turns gentle again, fondly exasperated as he presses a kiss to Loras's brow.] At least have a cup of wine with me, then. A toast to your victory.

Of course I did. Are you surprised? [He knows this probably isn't easy for Renly. The war. His injury. The fact that they have to fight his brother. None of it is easy. It isn't easy for Loras either. He's heard countless stories about the last war from his father. His father who wasn't even present when he was born because he was off at war. It seems different when you're the one fighting though. Loras isn't sure it's a good different]

Then I suppose I owe a certain amount of gratitude to your brother's lobster-like ways. [Still, he can't imagine fighting Garlan or Willas. Even if Renly and Stannis aren't exactly close, it has to hurt] What we are doing is for the benefit of everyone, not just ourselves. You will be just the kind of King the realm needs. Try not to forget that.

I suppose that is the least I could do. [Wine might be nice. He's feeling wound up and not in a way he likes. It's more of a nervous energy, something Loras is not familiar with]

[That gets a wry smile out of him, despite the gravity of his feelings. Loras's modesty is nearly nonexistent, but he's so very fond of him that it's charming.] Not at all. [It might not be easy, but Loras believes in him the way Robert and Stannis never did, and that's all Renly Baratheon has ever needed, Loras's love, his faith, his loyalty.

His smile takes on a slightly sadder tinge.] I know. Stannis is no king, that I am certain of, as certain as I am of your love for me. Still, I hope I can make my brother see reason. To fight me is folly when we could be crushing the Lannisters, who murdered our brother and put Cersei's bastard son on the throne.

[He sighs almost tiredly, and pours them each a cup of wine, hoping it will at least dull Loras's pain a little, and maybe soothe his own nerves.] I truly hope this war is short.

If there is any possible way we can turn Stannis around to our side, we shall not hesitate to do it. I promise. [He really doesn't see that happening though. All he knows of the elder Baratheon are stories of how unmovable and unrelenting he is. If he believes the throne is really his, he won't give it up easily] He may not be a king but perhaps he would make a decent Council member. And if he so desires Storm's End, you could give it to him. You won't need it, you'll have King's Landing.

If we manage to ally with the Starks as well, the Lannisters cannot hope to win.

We can hope. [He doesn't see that happening either, though]

The only way we might is if I talk to him, but I don't know how to make him see. He's never much liked me, not even when we were boys. Not since Robert gave me Storm's End, and if he won't get over a grudge he held against me when I was seven years old, how will he possibly listen? [Stannis never forgets, he never gives up. Sometimes they're good qualities, but sometimes Renly wishes Stannis would just bend the knee and fight alongside him as brothers should. As Robert never did with them.] I could name him Master of Laws. He would no doubt enjoy the pedantic bureaucracy. [He doesn't comment on giving him Storm's End. Renly loves his family's ancestral home, and though it might soothe some ruffled feathers, he isn't sure if he wants to give it up, not when he could give it to any second or third son he may have.]

Do you think the Starks will be more responsive? Robb Stark will demand the North, no doubt. Is it worth it, I wonder, to divide the kingdom thusly to win it? [He exhales softly and takes a sip of wine.]

But we can leave this for later. For now we should celebrate your victory.

Does Stannis truly like anyone? [Because Loras can't say who that would be if he did] Perhaps. But first you have to get him to actually listen to you and that will be half the battle.

Lady Stark was sent here by her son to speak with you. I do not think he would have done that if he were unwilling to work with you. [He nods, picking up his own cup and taking a sip]

And let us hope there are many more to celebrate.

[Renly scoffs quietly at that.] Stannis's version of love is peculiar. He repaid the smuggler who brought us food during the Siege of Storm's End by chopping off a few of his fingers and then knighting him. He seems to think all of Westeros will be like Davos Seaworth, and yet he calls me naive.

[A brief hum of agreement.] True. We can promise them his sisters, and his father's bones when we take King's Landing, as a token of friendship. Maybe Lady Stark will talk him down, make him satisfied with that.

[He smiles, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips.] Hope? I am certain there will be thousands more reasons to celebrate, with you at my side.

He's....a unique man, your brother. [That's the nicest way Loras can think to put it] We shall try. We shall give him the opportunity to join us and if he should choose not to take it..... [He leaves the rest unsaid. He doesn't want to make this harder for Renly but the fact of the matter is that there just may not be a way to work this out with Stannis]

Maybe. And of course he would still have all the lands that the Starks have traditionally had control of. Ah, Cersei's headsman took Lord Stark's blade as well, didn't he? Perhaps we could promise them to try and recover that as well. Just to sweeten the deal.

[Loras smiles as well, lightly returning the kiss. It's hard to be too upset with Renly so near] I never intend to leave your side.

[His brother isn't a needlessly cruel man but he doesn't know how to make people love him - people who aren't Davos Seaworth, who isn't a typical man himself if he holds no grudge for the loss of his fingers. Renly never did understand it, not when the man had saved all their lives. He remembers little of the siege, but he does remember the onions and salt fish were like the food of the gods after starving and eating rats and dogs and cats and horses just to scrape by.] I know. We'll see what he says. I'll arrange a parley.

Of course we'll return that. Hopefully it will be enough. I don't wish to war with the family of my brother's dearest friend, and we want the same things: Lannister heads on spikes.

[If his smile wavers a little, only Loras is here to notice.] Good, because I can't do this without you.

And you know that I will do whatever it is you need me to do. [He doesn't think he needs to tell Renly that but he will anyway, just to make sure]

It just makes sense for our two sides to work together. I'm sure this Robb Stark will see that. Lord Eddard was always a rational man. Perhaps his son inherited some of that.

[When Renly's smile falters, Loras' softens and he reaches up to cup the older man's face with his uninjured hand] When you heard I was injured, you were worried that I might be dying, is that it? You will never, ever have to face anything without me. The gods may not listen when they are prayed to but even they are not that cruel. And I would never willingly leave your side. I love you far too much for that.

[Loras doesn't need to say it, Renly already knows it. He can always trust in Loras Tyrell's devotion to him. If only everything else were so easy, so sure. Eddard wasn't always rational, or else he might have listened to Renly when Renly said they could seize Cersei and her children and prevent all this bloodshed, but he hadn't - and he lost his head for it. But for now he only nods and takes another sip of wine. They'll discuss further when he's feeling better.

Renly folds a hand over Loras's on his cheek, closing his eyes for a moment. Maybe he was scared when he first heard about his injuries; people always say they're just green boys playing at war, and maybe he's a little scared sometimes that they're right. But everyone is afraid of something.] I know you wouldn't. No one could tell me how serious it was at first, is all. But you have to admit, you aren't exactly careful sometimes.

[Loras scoffs, a soft, almost amused sound and lightly pats Renly's cheek]

I was wondering when it would come around to this. Is this where you tell me that I'm far too rash sometimes? Some would argue that this entire war is just that. What else would you have me do, love? Sit around barking commands while everyone else fights? That would not make me much of a commander.

You are sometimes, and don't say that, not when you encouraged this in the first place. [He probably never would have made a bid for the throne if not for Loras and the Tyrells. They're the only reason he has an army, Margaery wants to be queen, and Loras keeps telling Renly what a good king he will be.] I would have you grab for a little less glory, at least when it's going to end up with you bleeding like this. I need you, Loras.

I didn't say I thought that. Just that some people might. I happen to not care about the opinions of the people who think that. [He says it because he believes it]

You're being overdramatic. I'm not going to die from a little sword wound. I'll say it again: knights get hurt.

I am not being overdramatic! It isn't overdramatic to worry about you, especially when no one will tell me how badly you're hurt until I actually arrive at your tent!

Knights get hurt, and knights also die, but I can't lose you. I can't. And do not tell me you promise not to die, because I'm certain that knight you beheaded today made the same promise to his beloved.

I wasn't going to promise that. That would be a stupid promise. [Because he might die but now seems like a really bad time to bring that up]

This is war. Neither of us is exactly experienced in this area. Today was a fluke. Bad luck. All I can promise you is that I will do absolutely everything in my power not to leave you. It isn't something I want to do.

[That really isn't reassuring.]

I still want a promise that you'll be more careful in the future, or next time I will give the van to Randyll Tarly. I already know you don't want to leave me, but it doesn't make you less reckless sometimes.

[He's bad at being reassuring when it comes to his own safety]

Randyll Tarly? Are you drunk? The man can barely manage a sword and a horse at the same time! [He is actually a little insulted by this threat. And also pouting. Predictably] Fine, Your Grace. Next time I promise to show an appropriate amount of caution.

[He seems to realize his misstep and sighs, bringing a hand up to rub at his temple, turning away and starting to pace the tent slowly. Loras is pouting and he's still hurt, and Renly feels awful, even if he was in the right - Loras has him wrapped so beautifully around his little finger, not that he'll ever admit it.] Lord Tarly is a capable commander and you know it, don't be petulant. I'm not giving him the van, you're my Lord Commander and the glory should be yours, I'm just-

This is all very stressful right now. People are still sniggering behind my back about Margaery and now you're hurt and-

Did you just call me petulant? I am not a child, thank you.

[He huffs and goes over to throw himself down on the bed in the tent. Which turns out to be a terrible idea because it jostles his entire body and OW. FUCK OW. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to will the pain away, only half listening to Renly. There is also probably some very restrained but still unknightly cursing. When the pain lets up a bit he opens his eyes and looks over at the other man]

Margaery is a bridge we'll cross at a later date. You can't be expected to focus on bedding with a war going on. [Ignoring that he and Renly have been having sex straight through this entire disaster] And I told you it isn't that bad. You're working yourself up far more than necessary.

You are being petulant. [He says with a roll of his eyes, but it turns to a concerned frown when Loras throws himself onto the bed. Immediately, he feels even worse, and crosses the tent to sit on the edge of the bed, arranging the pillows a little neater so Loras can make himself more comfortable.]

Don't jostle your ribs like that, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be putting my stress on you, not right now.

[Loras situates himself so he's more comfortable, letting out a long sigh and looking at Renly tiredly. He scoots over a bit, patting the spot next to him on the bed]

Stop that and come here. This arguing is getting us nowhere and I've had enough of it.

[He's probably fussing a little as he fluffs a pillow and then strokes a few curls away from Loras's forehead, sighing softly. After a moment, Renly stands up and sheds his crown, boots, and cloak, then climbs onto the bed beside Loras, careful not to jostle him.]

I know. I'll be glad when this war is over.

You are far from the only one who feels that way.

[He watches Renly get into bed with him, reaching out to take his hand when he's settled] I don't mean to make things more difficult for you. That is the last thing I want. But you have to admit, you weren't exactly being mature either just then. [He lifts Renly's hand and presses a gentle kiss to his knuckles]

I know you're under a lot of stress. And I know you think I don't understand that but I do. Do you think commanding an army is easy? It's not. Most of your bannermen think I'm a child playing at war. Which compared to them I suppose I am, considering how old and fat a great deal of them are. [Scoff] So perhaps just a bit I want to prove that being one of the finest warriors in Westeros isn't just empty words. But, for your sake, I'll be more cautious next time. I promise you that.

I was not lying when I said I thought you would be an excellent king. I still think that. And I am willing to do absolutely anything to make sure you get there. I'd die for you, without hesitation. And I know that is not what you want to hear from me so don't even say it. It's the truth. But I'm hoping it does not come to that. I rather like the idea of spending the rest of my life by your side, making sure no one ever hurts you or Margaery.

Closed to loveandloyalty

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