shititsalion | Closed to loveandloyalty

Closed to loveandloyalty

[The battle actually hadn't lasted that long. Maybe 40 minutes at most. They had fought Stannis' army just outside their camp and at the end of it all, they had won. A good deal of Stannis' men lay dead on the field and the rest had retreated. Stannis himself hadn't been present but the defeat should be enough to discourage him for a while. Just a while. Loras had no doubt that he'd be back. Stannis had always been stubborn at the worst of times. Still, it had been a good battle and a good victory. Renly should be happy.

During the fight Loras had ended up face to face with a knight twice his age and twice his size. A big, strong man. He was proud to say that he had beheaded the man. Not before taking a nice deep slash to the bicep and a hard mace hit to the ribs but he had still killed the man. That was what was important. To him at least, his squire seemed to disagree. As they rode back to camp the boy was buzzing around him like a particularly obnoxious little bee, asking a million times if he was alright. To which Loras always answered "yes stop asking".

Back in his tent the boy helped him out of his armor, flying into a panic at the sight of the blood seeping through the arm of his cotton undershirt. Before he could stop him the boy scurried from the tent, returning with one of the camp medics. Soon everyone in camp would know he was injured now, thanks to his well intentioned squire. Margaery would be flying in soon and then probably Renly. It was silly. He felt just fine, though the more he settled the more he felt the pain in his side and the stinging of the gash on his arm.]

Really, I'm- [He began but hissed in pain instead as the healer peeled the shirt away from the wound on his arm. Okay, maybe letting someone look at his wasn't the worst idea. When the shirt came off, there was a large and colorful bruise already covering a good deal of his left side. Yes, that probably wasn't good]

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[Loras situates himself so he's more comfortable, letting out a long sigh and looking at Renly tiredly. He scoots over a bit, patting the spot next to him on the bed]

Stop that and come here. This arguing is getting us nowhere and I've had enough of it.

[He's probably fussing a little as he fluffs a pillow and then strokes a few curls away from Loras's forehead, sighing softly. After a moment, Renly stands up and sheds his crown, boots, and cloak, then climbs onto the bed beside Loras, careful not to jostle him.]

I know. I'll be glad when this war is over.

You are far from the only one who feels that way.

[He watches Renly get into bed with him, reaching out to take his hand when he's settled] I don't mean to make things more difficult for you. That is the last thing I want. But you have to admit, you weren't exactly being mature either just then. [He lifts Renly's hand and presses a gentle kiss to his knuckles]

I know you're under a lot of stress. And I know you think I don't understand that but I do. Do you think commanding an army is easy? It's not. Most of your bannermen think I'm a child playing at war. Which compared to them I suppose I am, considering how old and fat a great deal of them are. [Scoff] So perhaps just a bit I want to prove that being one of the finest warriors in Westeros isn't just empty words. But, for your sake, I'll be more cautious next time. I promise you that.

I was not lying when I said I thought you would be an excellent king. I still think that. And I am willing to do absolutely anything to make sure you get there. I'd die for you, without hesitation. And I know that is not what you want to hear from me so don't even say it. It's the truth. But I'm hoping it does not come to that. I rather like the idea of spending the rest of my life by your side, making sure no one ever hurts you or Margaery.

[He gives his hand a light squeeze, exhaling softly. He knows, of course, all the things Loras is telling him, he knows it because he knows his lover. They're young, but they've been closer than brothers for years, ever since Loras first came to Storm's End practically. Renly feels a familiar warmth uncurl in his chest, but at the same time, a tinge of icy dread. Of course it's flattering to know that someone loves you enough to die for you, but here, now, at war...] It doesn't seem so romantic anymore, knowing that you would die for me. They all think I'm just a frivolous child playing at war, as well, so I know, that you feel you need to prove yourself to them. I don't wish to begrudge you that, they need to see that you belong at my side, but-

I suppose it's just hitting me, that I could lose you if something went wrong. Some part of me always thought Robert was immortal too, and now look at him, gored by a boar because he drank too much wine.

It just doesn't seem worth being king, if you aren't there at my side in a rainbow cloak. [It comes out a little softer, and he presses his face lightly against Loras's good shoulder, tangling their fingers together.]

[He knows all this. Of course he does. He knows Renly better than anyone else in the world. Still, it's not easy to hear]

I don't know what to tell you, my love. Because, yes, it could happen. But....I can't let being afraid of that stop me from giving every battle my all. Not when so many of your men are going to their deaths. So you will just have to keep faith that I will always do my best to return to you. [A sigh and he presses a kiss to the top of Renly's head]

Do you know what I would really like? For us to just forget about all of this and sail somewhere warm. Maybe the Free Cities. We could live in a big house, have servants who love us and do absolutely nothing for the rest of our days. But that is an unrealistic dream and even thinking of it makes me sound far too much like a 14 year old maiden for my tastes. So instead I think I'll settle for this war being over and the Iron Throne being yours.

I know you can't, I don't want you to be afraid, can we just stop talking about how possible the worst is? [He mumbles against his shoulder, maybe sounding a little childish himself now. He feels he's earned it, though, always having to put on the smiling, confident young king face in front of the bannermen.

He manages a little smile.] If you truly wanted it, I would give it to you. That life, a sprawling manse by the sea in Pentos or Lys, no one around to care what we do in bed. [They're too embroiled in this war, they have obligations to their families, he knows, but still...] Having the Iron Throne would be nice too, though. Once we win this, no one can question our competency again.

Now who's being petulant?

It might be nice. But we can't. We started this and we have to finish it. I couldn't desert my family to the Lannisters. [Even though right now finishing it seems like a daunting, impossible task] No one. And then everyone in Westeros will see that you're just as amazing and I've always known you are.

[Daunting and impossible indeed. But things are going as well as they can, and Renly tries to keep that in mind. If they can crush Stannis or win him over, his bannermen will follow, and an alliance with the North will surely seal their victory over the Lannisters.]

I know. [He murmurs quietly, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. He wouldn't abandon the Tyrells either, especially not now that he's married to Margaery. Mace wants so badly for her to be Queen, and Renly thinks she deserves it.] They'll certainly stop seeing you as a child, and see what a fierce warrior you are.

[Those are certainly good things to keep in mind, Loras thinks. He has hope for an alliance with the North, since Lady Stark came all the way to see them. Maybe later he'll convince Renly to go talk to her again just to see if they can draw up some terms to present Robb with. Stannis....is going to be tough. He's not going to dwell on it right now though or let Renly dwell on it]

Just focus on winning this war and seeming....Kingly. Everything else can wait until after. There's no point worrying about it now when we have much bigger things to deal with. We can do this. We will do this.

[Lady Catelyn could certainly be easy to please, and she could likely talk her son into an alliance. All she wants is her daughters, her husband's bones, the family sword, and some Lannister heads - all things that Renly is perfectly willing to give her to keep the friendship between the Starks and Baratheons. He'll personally deliver Joffrey to Robb Stark himself, kicking and screaming, for some northern justice if he has to.

He's glad that Loras grounds him and keeps him out of his own thoughts, though.] Have I ever not seemed kingly? [It gets a smile out of him, and he leans up to press his lips softly to Loras's.] We must do this, or we die. That makes it simple, doesn't it?

Simple. [The tone he uses when he says that is dry but amused]

Since I am very committed to the idea of you not dying, yes, we must. [He presses another light kiss to Renly's lips before sighing] Do you have anything important to do at the moment or can you stay here for a while?

They have a saying at court, you know. When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. Seems almost disgustingly simple. [He trails his fingertips feather-light over the wrappings around his ribs, closes his hand over Loras's good one again.]

I'll stay as long as you wish. Have I ever been able to deny you anything?

Isn't high born society charming? [Really if he wasn't convinced Renly would make a great king, he wouldn't be doing any of this. It'll be worth it when they win though, he thinks]

Don't say that. I'll want you to stay all night. [He smiles, giving Renly's hand a squeeze] No, you certainly have not. Not even when I was supposed to be serving you. Then again, I'm the only reason we no longer have a platonic relationship so really you should be thanking me.

[Renly just smiles slightly, dryly, in agreement, fitting himself lightly around Loras as best he can without jarring his injuries or putting uncomfortable pressure on any of his sore spots. He presses a light kiss to his temple.]

Then I'll stay all night. [Unless his bannermen came looking for him for another damnable strategy meeting, but he hopes they'll leave it be for a night. Still, Randyll Tarly and the others don't and shouldn't know about him and Loras, so if they come calling, he'll have to leave.] Mm, you were never much of a squire. Still, I do thank you, every morning and every night. You're the only prayer of mine the gods ever listened to.

We shall see how long that lasts. [He's not counting on being able to keep Renly to himself all night] And you were never much of a master. It's a miracle I can use a sword at all, really. [The smiles he gives Renly in response to his words is gentle and warm as he leans forward to press a kiss to the other man's forehead]

Believe me, it was just as much a gift to me as it was to you.

[He just hums quietly at that, hoping it'll be the full night but not holding his breath on the matter.] I was an excellent master. I paid good coin for the finest master-at-arms I could find for you. [It comes out light, a little teasing. He knows he's never been much of a warrior, but that wasn't why Mace Tyrell sent him Loras. It was a political move, but it had been fortuitous for them all, and young Renly had been eager to make his new squire happy.]

I should think so. Half the ladies in Westeros would want to be where you are right now. [He presses his lips along the line of his jaw, sweet and easy and gentle, and he laughs.] The other half wish to be where I am.

Yes, he was quite good. We should be thankful to him for making sure I wasn't as hopeless a warrior as you are. [He's actually never minded that Renly isn't a warrior. He's perfectly happy to do all the fighting for both of them and Renly has other strengths. He just can't resist lightly teasing about it]

I'm well aware of that. [He knows how women react to both he and Renly. He finds it amusing, really. That's what the whole rose at tourneys thing is about. That and it's a good way to cover up the fact that the only one he'll ever love happens to be a man] It's too bad for that they will never get to be where either of us is.

He was eager to have a student who wasn't as hopeless as I was. [Renly never really took it seriously, perhaps because of all the comparisons to Robert. "Robert was such a great warrior." "I'm sure you'll follow in his footsteps." "You look just like Robert, let's see if you fight like him." He is not and has never been his eldest brother, and a sword in his hand has never not felt a little out of place. Still, he does what he must so that his followers may have faith in him, and knows that Loras, the true knight, will always be there beside him.]

I'm sure they would weep on their knees if they knew. [He hums lightly, pressing another few light, gentle kisses to the line of his jaw and throat.] You should rest. You must be in terrible pain and here I am keeping you up.

Oh, I'm sure. You really are hopeless. You're just lucky that your mind functions well. [He's probably the only one in the world who calls Renly a hopeless warrior with nothing but teasing affection. It really doesn't bother him. Renly is more suited to politics than war and Loras doesn't think there's anything wrong with that]

You say that as if I ever mind you keeping me up.

You're my sword, and I will make certain you don't botch everything political. [It kind of balances out, Loras is good at courtesy but he's not the finest politician.]

I know you don't mind, but you should still rest. Shall I fetch you some dreamwine?

[He laughs a bit, scooting closer] Were you afraid of that? I do know how to talk to people, you know.

No. The only thing I want right now is you.

A little. You have a temper. [He knows Loras wouldn't actually botch anything, at least not purposefully or out of ignorance, but he has to have something to tease him about.

His smile softens a little, and he presses a light kiss to his forehead.] Then I shall stay.

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